Secret

Tears fill my eyes
The only thing on my mind is you
Your love is so bitter and yet so sweet
I hope you would love me
But you don't
I should know that by now
But when I look into your eyes I know that I never could leave you
Your hands gave me the calm that I seeked
Your presence the soothing I needed
I love the feeling you give me
But I know all to well that tomorrow you will not be here

Tears are run down my cheeks
The cheeks that longs for your kisses
I see you sometimes with him
You two seem so good together
I could never give up on you though
Not when you are mine night after night
You are filling me with your presence
But then you go back to him
I should now that by now
But I never will
I can't bring myself to believe
That the love we're making is worth nothing

I start to whisper with my eyes wide open
'Please make me whole'
You are lying there sleeping, not hearing my words
Not feeling the love burning
You will still go back to him when we are through
You told me you loved him
My pleads in the night will never be responded
I am hoping desperatly that I won't get a response
The feeling of loneliness is better than have no hope at all
But I know that it's got to end sometime
Sometime is far away at this moment though

I close my eyes
But I don't want to sleep
I cannot waste the while I have with you
I feel you turning in your sleep
Your hand is searching for me
I take of hold of your hand and one more time we are united
I feel the smile on your lips
'Are you still awake?'
I turn around and look into your eyes
I am lost, so lost

(James Söderman 2000)